IAMAdoptee : Birth Search: 10 Things to Do

Birth Search:

10 Things to Do

At IAMAdoptee, we believe that the decision to search for birth family members must be the sole propriety of the adopted person.

We know that search and reunion can be daunting and overwhelming. We want you to have all the resources to guide you. We also know that searching is only part of the process. The aftermath of a search, whether connections are made or not, can be the toughest part of this process.

Here is what we have prepared for you.

10 Things to Do

Write what you know – letter to self…”This I know to be true of me”

This exercise can be helpful for an adoptee considering birth search because it allows you to affirm your personal identity, values, and experiences independently of your adoption journey.

This exercise fosters self-awareness, strengthens self-acceptance, and provides a grounding sense of identity amidst the uncertainties of the search, empowering the adoptee to approach their birth search from a place of self-assurance and clarity.
Create a map of support – Who are your “go to” people for emotional support?

Finding therapy or good counsel is a helpful thing to do when you are an adoptee considering birth search because it provides a safe and supportive space to explore complex emotions, fears, and uncertainties associated with the search for biological roots.

Therapy can help you navigate feelings of identity, loss, and reunion dynamics, offering guidance and coping strategies to manage stress and emotional challenges effectively.

A therapist or counselor experienced in adoption issues can also provide validation, empathy, and practical tools to enhance resilience and self-understanding throughout the journey of self-discovery and reunion.
Interview another adoptee

Speaking with another adoptee is helpful for an adoptee considering birth search because it offers a unique opportunity to connect with someone who understands the complexities and emotions involved in the search for biological roots.

This conversation can provide insights, shared experiences, and practical advice on navigating the process, offering emotional support and reassurance that one is not alone in their journey of self-discovery and identity exploration.
Engage with Adoptee Stories
Begin your exploration by reading these blog posts and articles:

wethelees.wordpress.com – Read all about IAMAdoptee’s team member, Whitney Fritz and her journey navigating her search and staying in reunion with her Korean birth family

www.mynewenglandseoul.com

www.oregonlive.com/living/index.ssf/2012/07/family_matters_adoptee_searche.html

www.adoptionmosaic.com

Engaging with adoptee stories is helpful for an adoptee considering birth search because it provides valuable perspectives and insights into the diverse experiences, emotions, and challenges that adoptees face throughout their search for identity and connection.

These stories can offer validation, empathy, and practical guidance, helping the adoptee navigate their own journey with greater understanding, preparation, and emotional readiness.
Write a letter to your birth – mother, father, sibling….

Writing a letter to your birth mother, father, or sibling is a helpful thing to do when you are an adoptee considering birth search because it allows you to express your thoughts, emotions, and questions in a private and introspective manner. This process can provide catharsis, clarity, and a sense of connection as you articulate your desires and hopes, even if the letter is never sent. It helps you prepare emotionally for potential reunion and facilitates self-reflection on what you seek from your birth family.
Find a local adoptee organization to meet other adoptees who have searched

Finding a local adoptee organization to meet other adoptees who have searched is helpful because it provides a supportive community of individuals who understand the complexities and emotions of the adoption journey.

Meeting others who have undertaken similar searches can offer valuable insights, guidance, and emotional support, helping to alleviate feelings of isolation and providing practical advice on navigating the process of birth search with empathy and understanding.
Compile all your adoption paperwork

Compiling all your adoption paperwork is a helpful thing to do when you are an adoptee considering birth search because it provides a comprehensive record of your adoption history, including legal documents, birth certificates, and any correspondence related to the adoption process.

This paperwork can serve as a foundation for your search, offering essential details about your origins and adoption circumstances that may be crucial in tracing your biological family or verifying information during reunification efforts. It ensures you have access to all available information that can aid in understanding your past and facilitating connections with your birth family.
Write a synopsis of how you think your birth family is now

Writing a synopsis of how you think your birth family is now is a helpful thing to do when you are an adoptee considering birth search because it encourages you to reflect on your perceptions and expectations of your biological family.

This exercise can help clarify your motivations for searching, manage expectations realistically, and prepare emotionally for potential outcomes of the search. It also provides a starting point for considering different scenarios and understanding the complexities of familial relationships that may have evolved since your adoption.
Learn a little of the culture

Learning about your birth culture is a helpful thing to do when you are an adoptee considering birth search because it connects you to your heritage, history, and identity.

Understanding your birth culture provides insight into your roots, traditions, and values, which can enhance your sense of self-awareness and belonging. It also prepares you to navigate cultural nuances and expectations that may arise during the search for your biological family, fostering a deeper understanding and appreciation of your origins.

This knowledge can ultimately enrich your personal journey of self-discovery and reunion.
Find good counsel for yourself

10 Things to Do

Help Us Grow Our Resource Hub!