Birth Search: 10 Helpful Questions to Ask Yourself

Birth Search:

10 Helpful Questions to Ask Yourself

At IAMAdoptee, we believe that the decision to search for birth family members must be the sole propriety of the adopted person.

We know that search and reunion can be daunting and overwhelming. We want you to have all the resources to guide you. We also know that searching is only part of the process. The aftermath of a search, whether connections are made or not, can be the toughest part of this process.

Here is what we have prepared for you.

10 Helpful Questions to Ask Yourself

What do I know about my story?

This could be based off referral paperwork, adoption paperwork, or what you were told by your adoptive parents.

This question prompts reflection on personal history, facilitating a clearer understanding of an adoptee’s origins, which can guide and focus the search process effectively.
How would I feel if my story is totally different upon reunion?
Why now?

What is happening in my life that NOW feels like the right time?

This question encourages self-reflection on the timing and motivations behind initiating the search, helping to clarify personal readiness, emotional preparedness, and the significance of pursuing answers about one’s origins at this particular moment in life.
Who am I searching for?
What are my questions?
What are my memories? What images do I have in my head? What smells, sounds do I remember? What do I think I can remember?
Do I have any distinguishing marks or scars on my body that might help identify me to my birth family?

This question is helpful for an adoptee considering birth search because it prompts you to consider physical identifiers that could be recognized by biological family members, potentially facilitating quicker identification and verification during the reunification process.
What do I know about my birth country at the time I was placed for adoption?

This question is helpful for an adoptee considering birth search because it encourages exploration of the cultural, social, and political context of your birth country during your adoption period. This knowledge can provide valuable insights into their background, identity, and circumstances surrounding their adoption, aiding in understanding their origins and potentially guiding the search process effectively.
What do I know about my birth country now?

The question “What do I know about my birth country now?” is helpful for an adoptee considering birth search because it encourages one to update their understanding of their birth country’s current socio-cultural, political, and economic landscape. This updated knowledge can provide context for their search, facilitate cultural connection, and aid in navigating any potential challenges or changes that may have occurred since their adoption, thereby enhancing their understanding of their origins and identity.
What if I don’t find anyone?

The question “What if I don’t find anyone?” is helpful for an adoptee considering birth search because it prepares you emotionally and mentally for the possibility of not locating biological family members despite their efforts. This reflection helps manage expectations, cope with potential disappointment, and consider alternative outcomes or sources of fulfillment in the search for identity and connection.